Life Begins Read online

  He didn’t say anything, but considering they were headed in the direction she asked, she hoped that meant he would just leave her at the restaurant. When they arrived, she shouldn’t have been surprised that he didn’t leave her as she asked. He parked in a spot and turned the car off before exiting the vehicle. She rushed behind him in order to catch up. “What are you doing? I’m giving you the chance to leave.” Why did he always seem to ignore her?

  She followed right behind him, determined to deal with this. “I’m talking to you.”

  Finally, he turned to her. “No. You are being silly girl. You would rather fight over stupid matter.”

  How the hell was she being silly? She hadn’t asked him to drive her around, but maybe that was the thing. He wanted to waste his time on her. She didn’t know if that made him a fool or her one for letting him. As long as he didn’t expect something out of her. “Fine. You want to drive me around while my car’s in the shop. Go ahead. I guess I can work out a way of getting you gas money or something.” It was worth fighting over.

  She stood in short line, trying to work things out in her mind. She couldn’t tell Marisol or really anyone about this situation. She didn’t want to have to hear the opinions on how everyone thought she was being stupid to trust a guy she didn’t know. She already was aware of it. Had figured out pretty quickly that she wasn’t going to be in control of this relationship. Not relationship, friendship. A man like him can only be a pseudo-friend at the most.

  When it was her turn to order, she chose the cheapest option, thinking she would have to pay for it, but naturally, Žarko added his order to hers and presented money before she could even reach into her pocket for what little cash she possessed.

  This time, she kept her mouth shut. She scanned the dining room for a good seat and decided that it would be in her best interest to wait and let him do what he wanted. She wouldn’t be able to think about how to deal with him without a nice cup of coffee. In fact, when he sat at the table, she ignored him in favor of taking care of her drink. The very first sip warmed her spirit because it was exactly what she needed.

  “Why does your son cry in the morning?” Žarko asked. She glanced up at him, finding that he didn’t pay her attention. Instead, he sat sipping his own coffee and staring out the window.

  “He doesn’t like daycare. He’s used to me being at home with him, but since the divorce, I have to go to work and he just doesn’t understand it.”

  He leaned back in his seat, dark eyes watching her like a hawk. “You are stay at home mom?”

  She nodded. “Yes. When I got married, Gary thought it would be best if I stayed at home. But, he didn’t tell me that he had no desire for us to have children when he decided this.”

  “You enjoyed it?”

  She nodded, staring down at the lid of her coffee cup. She loved being at home with her children, had found that she had peace with the idea of being involved with the raising of her little ones. “I trust myself to know how to take care of them. I was going to start writing when they started attending school. Maybe take some art classes or something.” But that was a dream that had to die. She would probably never have the chance to do what she desired. It made her sad to think about. “So, you came to the United States from Serbia? I have to admit that I don’t really know where that is.”

  “You would know it as the former Yugoslavia.”

  Oh, well that was interesting. “Okay. Why come here?”

  He shrugged. “Why not?”

  She had no more conversation she could think of and so concentrated on eating her meal and then getting to work on time. Being a typical male, Žarko had finished long before she did and together, they walked back to his truck and he took her to work, promising to pick her up at the end of her shift. She agreed, but part of her doubted that he would be able to do so. It seemed impossible, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. If he did, then he would be much more trustworthy than Gary and that would simply exacerbate the issue she already faced.

  She hated spending so much time on her feet. The market wouldn’t let her be a cashier where she could sit. No, she had to stock shelves and lift heavy boxes until her body literally could no longer do it. If it weren’t for the fact that she had to pay the bills, she certainly would quit. She hated this job that much, but she also knew that without working experience or a college education, she was highly limited in her options. Damn Gary.

  At four o’clock, she handed off the duty to another co-worker while she clocked out in the employee office. She barely gave herself time to take a deep breath before she shuffled her way toward the exit, hoping that her neighbor had been serious about picking her up, because if she had to carry two children on public transportation, she highly doubted that she would survive it.

  Outside, she saw the dark SUV waiting for her at the curb. Her body sighed in relief, even as she quickly climbed into the tall truck to take a seat.

  “Dobar dan, devojko Josie,” both girls said. Josie turned behind her to wave at the girls.

  “Hey, girls. Did you have a good day at school?” The question felt natural to ask, even if it wasn’t exactly any of her business. She didn’t know much about where they went other than the fact that St. Sava’s Academy was obviously a private school.

  “It was good,” Desa answered first followed by Ljiljiana nodding.

  “They go to Serbian school,” Žarko said finally. “It is dual language to remind them of home.”

  “Wow. I’m glad you guys could find a place like that. I only learned English growing up and then tried to take Spanish in high school. I don’t really remember how to speak it though,” Josie said with a grimace that had more to do with the pain in her body than the fact that she couldn’t speak another language.

  “You should learn Serbian,” Ljiljiana said quietly, “You and the bebe, because tata says that we can only speak Serbian at home.”

  Josie didn’t know a nice way to decline the offer. She was sure that Serbian was nice language and all, but she didn’t expect this family to be in her life for all that long. Besides, Spanish would probably be the better option considering the area of the city she spent the most time in. But, all she could say was, “I’ll certainly think about it. I bet it would be interesting.”

  “Yes, because then we can help you,” Desa said, starting to get excited. “It will be fun.”

  Funny how their tata didn’t say anything about it. Josie engaged the young girls in conversation about their school curriculum. Sure, she had no interest in sending her own children to that school, but since she’d never heard of a Serbian school, she thought it cool to know about something going on in her own city.

  By the time they stopped at the daycare to pick up her own children, Josie had fallen just the slightest bit in love with Žarko’s daughters. They were funny and very easy going, which shouldn’t have been surprising since they’d been good every time they met. It was just nice and gave her hope that her own children would turn out well with a single parent in charge of them.

  Then she saw her son having a tantrum the moment she stepped inside. She sighed. Somehow, she would have to ask Žarko how he raised such well-balanced children. No one else seemed to have any insight into how to get her crazy toddler to obey his mother.

  Žarko didn’t just drop his daughters off at the apartment this time. Instead, he wanted them all in Josie’s space so that he could have a talk with her. After their talk that morning, everything she’d said had weighed heavily on his mind. He knew how he could help her, but he definitely needed to have her give him something in return.

  “If you girls have homework, you can use the table in the living room,” Josie said to his daughters. Then she turned to him and paused briefly. “I don’t know how long you plan to stay, but you’re welcome to eat dinner.” She went to place her daughter in the baby swing in the corner facing the couch. She turned it on, letting soft music play as the seat swayed calmly back and forth.

  Her son h
ad already removed his coat and shoes and ran toward the back of the house, items of clothing trailing behind him. He watched Josie sigh as she moved to pick up the discarded clothing. “Let me make sure he’s not getting himself into trouble. You can have a seat if you like.” She then took off after the boy to do whatever it was she planned to do.

  He made sure his girls started their work before he moved into the kitchen area adjacent to the living room. Josie had a small dinette table complete with two chairs. He took the one near the back door, knowing that it would give him a good view of both the whole kitchen and the living room because of the half wall. He saw Josie reenter with her son carrying some kind of toy before she walked into the kitchen to begin going through the refrigerator.

  “Is there anything you or your daughters are allergic to?”

  “Ne.”

  She nodded before pulling out a container of meat. “I think spaghetti might be the best thing.” She glanced at him quickly, as if uncomfortable with the idea of him being in her space. He didn’t allow it to stop him from watching her. She would eventually get used to it.

  It did make him think about the kind of relationship she had with her husband. He must not have been any sort of man considering the way she seemed so uncomfortable around men. He couldn’t imagine keeping his hands off of her if she had been his wife, let alone spend much time in a room away from her. “How long were you married?”

  Her whole body tensed as she kept her attentions on the browning meat in her skillet. “Almost ten years.”

  “And your husband is the only man you’ve had.” He wondered if she would answer, because even if she didn’t he knew the answer. And obviously, it must not have felt good from her lack of body awareness.

  “I don’t know how that’s any of your business.”

  “It’s my business if you desire to get through this rough time as a divorced woman. Your group will not give you the help you need.”

  “And how do you intend to help me? Besides giving me a ride and wrangling my son into behaving himself. I don’t see how you can do anything that they can’t.”

  “I can be honest about your chances. You are a wife, a woman used to be dependent on her husband for finances. You like being a mother taking care of her family. You are a woman that needs husband.”

  “Is that your way of saying I’m passive,” she asked, turning all the way to him. The smell of her cooking set his stomach to rumbling and he wondered how long it had been for him to have a woman cook for him. His poor daughters wouldn’t know what home cooked tasted like, they ate out so often these days.

  But first, he had to set the stage for Josie’s thinking. “Housewife is not passive. Housewife has job that takes much skill and knowledge. Not every woman in this world can be a good housewife.”

  Josie turned away from him, but not before he could see the tears shining in her eyes. “Yeah, well a housewife still needs a reliable husband.”

  “You will write down bills and current finance situation and we will see what is necessary.”

  She smiled a bit. “What are you, a financial advisor?”

  No, but he was the man with a plan and the right kind of money. What he needed from her was simple, a housewife and a mother. As long as she gave his children the care that he desired of them, he would be willing to pay her bills. It really was a simple trade and even as he explained it to her, he knew that she would do it for him. Just as he needed a housewife, she needed someone who would provide for her like a husband. He was willing to do it, even if he didn’t get any immediate personal benefit out of it.

  “Kids, why don’t you go wash your hands so we can eat,” Josie said. She then turned to him and said, “You can use the sink in here.” While he stood to do that, she began taking out plates and portioning out food. “I’m going to have to think about what you said. It’s crazy and you’re insane, but I think that I have to be crazier for even considering it. I don’t know if I can even trust you96555.”

  He didn’t have to say anything else. She would do the rest of the work for him.

  Chapter 4

  Žarko and his girls had left after helping her clean up after dinner and taking care of Jason. It all felt very surreal when she thought about it, a tall white man and two little white girls doting on a black toddler. She couldn’t think about the meaning behind her son not fighting going to bed when told to. Even now, he lay peacefully in his crib, dreaming whatever little boys dreamed while his mother remained awake thinking about an offer that just sounded illicit.

  She had to wonder what it would mean to have another man take care of her, to pay for all her bills and not expect her to hop into bed with him. They wrote news stories about stuff like this, a stupid girl just trusting someone that eventually takes advantage of her. Žarko reeked of alpha male and all she could see when he looked at him was sex, the hard stuff that would ruin her for anyone else. And with him, she didn’t doubt that he would eventually leave her a wreck, always craving him, but never being able to have him.

  She’d be a fool to say yes. As much as he frightened her now, she could only imagine how he would behave once he had her dependent on him. Even scarier, she wasn’t sure she could resist sleeping with him, he was just that gorgeous. She had no idea what to do, because her finances screamed how much she needed the financial help. Maybe that’s why he insisted, because he knew how much she needed him. He wasn’t far off base about the fact that she was used to being a housewife. Every part of her craved that comfort of staying home so that she could have the time to be with her babies.

  She buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t. It was impossible. Then came the knock on the door that she had kind of been expecting. She answered immediately, knowing who it was. What she hadn’t thought she’d find was a shirtless version of the neighbor she was just getting to know. Still, she allowed him inside without question. She wore her own night outfit, which was a short pair of shorts and a fitted t-shirt, no bra like she knew she would have worn.

  “You did your finance?” he asked, immediately heading to the kitchen where the light was on.

  “Yes, but I’m not sure that it’ll be necessary. I’d have to be insane to just let you give me money.” Her name was not Ruth and his most certainly wasn’t Boaz for him to feel responsible for her.

  But, she held her words as he took a look at her list before writing down some numbers of his own. The first thing she noticed was that his bills were almost nothing compared to hers, but then, he obviously didn’t have lawyer’s fees and hospital bills hanging over his head like she did.”

  He stared crossing out some of her financial obligations and proceeded to calculate the two of theirs together. He circled the price she still owed her lawyer. “What is this?”

  She took a seat beside him, nervous. “Court costs from the divorce. My ex-husband hasn’t paid them and I can’t afford to take him back to court.” He made a notation of what she just said.

  “Then we will pay this and take him to court to pay. Once this is out of the way, your bills will be nothing. What is this other thing?”

  She leaned to see what he talked about. “The hospital cost for my daughter. I lost health coverage after the divorce because he didn’t want to pay for her and I just didn’t want to keep fighting it.” Again he made notation. When she looked at those numbers, she saw a never-ending cycle of payments, but for whatever reason, he didn’t seem to see the same. “You aren’t going to pay that off are you? That’s way too much money.” And something that would place her firmly in his debt for the rest of her life.

  “Is not too bad.” How much money did this man have and why was he willing to spend it on her? “You do not have car payments?”

  She shook her head. “No. It’s a crappy car from when I graduated high school.”

  He scratched at his shadowy beard. “You will need better one for kids.”

  He was going to buy her a car, too? He was too much for her to deal with
. “You’re insane.”

  He glanced in her direction. “Not crazy. Motivated. My girls will need transportation to and from school. You will need vehicle too for groceries and doctor visits.”

  “And you aren’t trying to make me sleep with you?” She couldn’t imagine a man like him doing all this for nothing. “This all seems too one sided on my end.”

  He leaned back in the seat, watching her. “I will not require it, but I also will not deny you if you gave yourself. I am more interested in what you can give to my daughters.”

  She didn’t know that she believed him. He was too perfect, with his thick dark hair and that golden skin covering thick muscles. No one would think that she wasn’t sleeping with him and if there was one thing she couldn’t abide, it would be people thinking she was a mistress. “How can I take you seriously?” She took a deep breath. It was just so much money, too much to allow another person to cover. “I can’t.”

  “You will do it because you love your son and are tired of fighting with him. You will do it because you are tired of feet hurting and keeping you from being the best mother. What kind of job do you expect to keep with no college education and no work experience other than supermarket? I offer you something better. Feed girls. Take and pick up from school. Help them with homework. Maybe I will give you bills.”

  “You promise?” She didn’t ask how he knew her history. She was more than smart enough to figure it out through their brief conversations.

  He nodded, writing a quick note on piece of paper they used. Then then signed the bottom of it and passed it to her. When she looked it over, she found that he had written everything they had discussed, including her deciding to give him her body. If this moment weren’t so serious, she would have been amused by the fact that he wrote in a way that assumed that she would be sharing a bed with him. Probably because he gave her the option to move her family into his apartment. “Why would I move in with you?” she felt the need to ask.