Life Begins Read online

  Life Begins

  Life Begins

  Copyright © 2015 by Taki James

  Cover Image ©

  Cover by Taki James

  All rights reserved. The illegal distribution of this book by any entity will be deemed fraudulent.

  The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded, or distributed via the Internet or any other means electronic or print, without the publisher’s permission.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to people, living or deceased is unintentional. All trademarks herein are the property of their respective owners and used only for the sake of creating a believable work of fiction.

  Dedication

  To the frustrated authors whose attempts at writing never seem to go right. Especially when it seems that their favorite works just randomly seem to be deleted.

  Chapter 1

  The day dawned bright warm and sunny, rare for Chicago in the month of January. It would have been nice to simply enjoy weather, take the children to the park maybe, or just do something nice for them. But that thought could never be completed, not for Josie at least. As a former stay at home mom, she had to bear the brunt of the sacrifices that came from divorcing a lying, abusive husband, a husband who had also signed away his parental rights just so he could avoid giving her child support payments. Thank God, she found a job at the local grocery store and that it gave her just enough money to take care of the needs of her family. It also helped that it gave her the much needed medical insurance, because she had to make sure that the babies were okay.

  “I not go to school,” the frustrated voice of her two year old sounded throughout the apartment as she tried to get him ready for the day.

  Dealing with him these days just gave her a headache. She couldn’t blame him for wanting things to go back to normal, but there was no such thing at this moment. Mommy had to go to work and then she had to go her life group meetings. “Jason, honey,” she said with a sigh, “we’ve talked about this. You and baby Jane have to go to daycare now. It will give you the chance to play with your friends and then when we go to group, you can play with some more friends”

  Crying was all she got as an answer, followed by a tantrum that had to be heard by the neighbors. Josie felt her own frustrated tears trying to let loose, mostly for a different reason. She missed her house in the suburbs and the fact that she didn’t used to have to worry about how the bills were going to be paid. She hated that she had to leave her children with other people, especially since was used to caring for them.

  She cried because she never should have trusted Gary. She should have known that he was up to something when he kept putting off conversations about children. She was angry because she should have known that all his lack of conversation about starting a family should have clued her in to the fact that he wasn’t the husband she wanted. But, she’d been young and impressionable, a virgin desperate to get married to someone that had seemed so mature and family orientated.

  She wanted to rage back at her son, wanted to tell him that she’d wasted ten years on his no good daddy, but that would be wrong. She couldn’t take her anger out on her son. She needed to protect him from it, and from the problems that would come from knowing that he’d been unwanted by a parent. No one was happy in this situation, but Josie would be damned if she caved in to the despair. She loved her children too much to see them not become well-adjusted because of her and the situation they found themselves in.

  While her son tired himself out from his tantrum, she devoted her attention to three-month-old baby Jane, named so after her ex-husband’s mother, something she deeply regretted being talked into doing. She would have preferred to name her little girl Zaire, something she’d always thought was beautiful, in fact, it was one of the things she planned to do as soon as she got enough money together to pay for it. It would be like cutting the last tie to her old life.

  She changed the baby’s diaper and got her dressed in a cute green little pants outfit. Behind her, Jason finally spent himself enough that she finished getting his clothes on him and prepped him in his boots and coat so that they could leave. Her shitty car had broken down on her, so she needed to keep her time schedule to make sure that they caught the right bus. She would hate to lose her job because she was late for work again.

  She wrangled both kids into their double stroller and then she was off, out of her ratty apartment and headed for the stairs. It was another thing she hated about getting divorced. She couldn’t afford a nice apartment with a working elevator and with two kids. She couldn’t handle living on the third floor when she had two littles and a giant stroller. The stupid landlord had promised to move her to a lower level as soon as an apartment became open, but when she’d refused to go on a date, he’d rented the first level space to someone else. Josie hadn’t gotten around to meeting the brand new tenant, but she also wasn’t sure she wanted to. It was just a nightmare, one that was never ending.

  “Come on Jay Jay,” she said to her son. “I need you to walk down the stairs so mommy can get baby Jane down.” Her baby boy, of course, crossed his arms and prepared to throw another tantrum, but this time, Josie wasn’t having it. “Don’t even think about it, buddy. You are going to walk like you’re supposed to and you are going to be quiet.”

  She didn’t mind that his little lip poked out. She moved to unstrap her son, but before she remove him, the apartment door nearest the stairs opened and out stepped a tall white man and his two little girls, both blonde and utterly adorable. The man, who must have been the girls’ father, took one look at her struggling with the stroller and uttered something to the girls before grabbing one end. Josie simply reacted to the help given. She lifted the higher end of the stroller and allowed him to guide everyone down to the ground level.

  For a moment, it felt surreal to Josie. She’d hadn’t had a man help her since she’d gotten married. It was how she’d met her former husband, him offering to carry something for her. She didn’t want to say she didn’t believe in chivalry, but being honest, she had a natural inclination now to distrust a man trying to help her. Part of her braced herself for what the gentleman might say to her when they reached the first level, but instead of saying anything, he simply set down his end of the stroller and beckoned his children forward. Josie barely had time to say, “Thank you,” before the small family disappeared.

  She breathed a sigh of relief that she still had time to make it to the bus stop, hell she might even have time to stop and get a cup of coffee to start the day. For that reason, she sent a brief prayer of thanks to God for the kindness of a stranger. She really hoped that this was a sign that she would have a really good day. Lately, those had been in very short supply.

  The favorite part of Josie’s life as a divorced woman was getting together with other divorced and single parents. She’d been a little wary at first, at the idea of joining a single mother’s club, because honestly, she wasn’t looking for a place to either bash her ex-husband or find another husband. What she really wanted was to talk to others in the same position as her and she figured the further removed they were from their marriages, the better.

  The group she had joined had been started by a local area church, maybe because they saw a need. For Josie, it had been a lifesaver because it was something that involved God and helped her build faith in him. Since the ending of her marriage, it as something that Josie had been desperate to find, a balance between being content with her life as a single mom and learning to have a willingness that allowed her to be open to anything that God would have for her, even if it included another husband.

  She rode the CTA to pick up her kids from daycare and once she had collected her te
rror duo, they hopped back on the bus to the small west side church where her life group met. She felt a little timid walking in such a dangerous neighborhood, but she also made sure she stayed aware of her surroundings and prayed up just so she felt safe. It didn’t mean that she was going to enjoy the ride home if she couldn’t get someone to take her and the kids back to her apartment. It was one of the unfortunate situations in her life, but as she found herself saying a lot, she had to do what she had to do to ensure the safety and welfare of her children.

  She just needed a little extra strength to hold on. “I am definitely a survivor,” she whispered to herself as she entered the church building. “God knows that I will never give up.”

  As soon as she finished entering the door, she saw her friend Marisol. “Hey, girl,” Marisol greeted her. The two shared a warm hug and it was as if all of Josie’s stress fell away. Marisol always had that kind of power, but that was simply because the fiery Puerto Rican was genuine. “How’s my papito?” She proceeded to smother Jason’s face with little kisses. “You get so handsome every time I look at you.”

  “He’s lucky he gets the chance to grow considering the trouble he gives me all the time.”

  Marisol finished pulling the toddler out of his containment. Jason didn’t seem to mind as he only buried his face in the blonde curls of the other woman. “Divorce is tough on little ones because they don’t understand it. Just hang in there mama. I promise you it will get better.”

  Josie sighed, but she trusted that Marisol knew what she talked about. She and her husband had divorced about five years previous, making her one of the veterans of the group. Everything she said, Josie had learned to take to heart, especially when she looked at how well her children behaved. “I’m trying my best to deal,” Josie said as she unstrapped her daughter. “But then I look at these beautiful children and I think about what that man did. It’s hard to forgive him.”

  It was. She could understand a man not wanting to have children, but when you marry a wife that did, then it was selfish to continue on with the marriage. Josie had never doubted that she would have children of her own. She’d always trusted that she would be a mother, had dreamed of it since she was in middle school. And then to marry someone that thought she should give up her dreams to please him? She really had been silly.

  “I can’t wait to get this group started. This week has been insane.”

  “Girl, don’t I know it,” Marisol said. Josie set her stroller out of the way before she followed Marisol to the children’s area. She signed her two in, leaving them with the group hired daycare provider. Just briefly, she caught a glimpse of two flaxen heads, but it was only a quick glance because she still had to say hello to the rest of the adults in her group and officially decompress before the start of the meeting.

  ~*~

  Žarko saw the woman from his building long before she noticed him. She wasn’t very tall, being perhaps only about 5’5, maybe a little taller. It didn’t really matter because compared to him, she appeared tiny, at least a foot shorter. That hadn’t been what caught his attention the first time, though. No, his attention had been drawn to the lushness of her shape, which made sense considering the beba. Her shape and the glow of her darker skin had been her draw, not that he had any interest in African American women or really, anybody. It didn’t mean that he didn’t have eyes or the urges that benefitted from meeting a beautiful woman.

  He had only come to this thing because a co-worker convinced him it would help him to improve his English and to find people who also raised their children by themselves. He hadn’t thought he’d see the woman from his building. She had the aura of a woman that was meant to be a wife and mother, but obviously, the husband she had didn’t agree with her.

  “Hey everyone,” she called out from lush lips that appeared made for always smiling and not the frowning he’d seen this morning as she tried to fight getting her children down so many stairs.

  “That’s Josie Jones,” his co-worker, Carl, leaned over to say. “Like you, she’s new to the group. Very rough divorce.” Žarko knew what the other man must have been thinking. Easy pickings.

  Except, she didn’t give him the appearance of being easy at all. Everything about her screamed commitment, marriage and all things that came with it. She looked like she should be living in some really nice house, with a pool or treehouse in the back yard, something to entertain everybody and show off her wealth at the same time. A woman like her needed a man to impress her.

  But, he would let his co-worker find this out on his own. He wouldn’t attempt to mess with a female like that unless he had plans to marry her.

  Since he had no plans for it, he simply minded his own business, or would have if the only free seat in the room weren’t beside him. The woman named Josie timidly took a seat beside him, a slight smile on her face as she recognized him. He was just glad that she didn’t try to awkwardly make conversation with him, because that would have bothered him. It didn’t stop his co-worker from leaning across to try and engage her in inane chatter.

  “Hey, Josie, how’s it going? Did you manage to get your car fixed?”

  She jumped, slightly, before giving a nervous giggle. “Uh, no, the shop still has it.”

  “Oh, so does that mean you’re still taking the bus with the kids?”

  “Yeah, but sometimes I get a chance to take the EL.”

  Žarko noticed that she sent him a brief glance before returning her attention to Carl. “It is dangerous for you and the babies to be out without a car in an area like this,” he finally said.

  She shrugged. “There isn’t much to be done about it. I have no other type of transportation.”

  He could see that she tried to play it off, but somehow that simply upset him. He’d driven through this neighborhood and had second-guessed his sanity to attend this meeting. For a small woman and two children, it was asking for trouble at this time of night. The man in him couldn’t allow it and so made the decision to do something completely counter to his normal personality.

  He climbed to his feet and made his way to check on the girls. Behind him, he could feel Josie’s eyes following. At the doorway leading up from the basement, he tilted his head for her to follow. It didn’t take her long to follow his command, making brief excuses to the group before making her way toward him. It amused him to see how she struggled to pretend calmness in his presence, not that she should necessarily feel safe around him, because he wasn’t a nice man.

  “I will go to the store and buy car seats for children. After this, you will allow me to see you home safe, da?” He watched as she struggled to come to a response, not that she should have anything else to say to him, but thank you and okay.

  “You don’t have to do that. It’s not the first time I’ve taken public transportation.” She ran her hands over her stomach in a nervous gesture. “I’ll be okay.”

  He leaned closer to her, making sure that she understood that he would not be denied. “What if you are not okay? You have bebe to protect.” He knew she got his silent message. She didn’t have a choice in this. “I will return quickly. Let the group know.” He left before she could say another word.

  Chapter 2

  She didn’t even know the man’s name and he was now going to the store to buy car seats. She felt almost sick with worry about it. It wasn’t that she worried the man would take advantage of her. Her spirit didn’t give her that sense, but that didn’t mean that he would make her feel safe. No, those dark and brooding eyes of his read trouble. She, for one, planned to obey that silent warning.

  She stood watching after him for a long time before she finally heard her name called behind her. She turned, finding Marisol standing there waiting. “What’s going on, chica? Where’s tall dark and handsome. We’re ready to begin.”

  Josie tried to smile as she turned to her friend. “He went to the store, but should be back soon.” He had left his kids after all.

  “Awesome, so then I guess we�
�ll do other things while we wait for him to come back.”

  Josie said nothing as she returned to her seat. Carl the letch, had moved seats so he could be the one to sit next to her. She wished that he would just stop because she had already made it clear that she wasn’t interested in sharing his bed, the only thing he wanted out of the women in the group. She didn’t care if he had slept with anyone else; she simply knew that she wasn’t interested. Being divorced didn’t make her tainted, and it certainly didn’t mean that she had to put aside her values because some guy wanted to have sex.

  She sat quietly in her seat as the group leader opened the session up in prayer and talked to them about some upcoming activities leadership had planned to help single parents connect with God and one another on a deeper level. Josie thought it would be nice, if she could get the necessary time off work, not that she believed she could take the vacation with the crazy hours management insisted she work. Then, when they mentioned the possibility of leaving behind the children, she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it. A two-year-old and a three-month-old with a babysitter for the weekend? She simply couldn’t do it.

  She began to ignore the announcements after that, feeling more than a little depressed about her situation. Once, she would have said her life had everything. She had a husband, a house, beautiful children, and a car that always ran smoothly. It was nothing for Gary to drop everything to take her on vacation, or on expensive dates where they simply enjoyed each other’s company. She loved when everything had been nice and easy to deal with.

  God, she didn’t want to cry while in group, like a weakling. She just couldn’t do it. She felt an elbow nudge her in her ribs. “We’re getting ready to talk about our weeks,” Carl leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Just thought you wanted to start paying attention.”

  She nodded absently, not that it mattered. Her every week seemed to run the same. The only thing that had changed was her friendly stranger, who seemed to like rescuing her. He managed to return just as Elsa finished giving her usual long winded diatribe about arguing with her ex-husband and her teenage sons. Personally, Josie had no idea how the other woman managed five almost grown young men.